To Go With the Cookies I Left For You...

Remember writing Santa Letters? I think I stopped writing them when I was a kid - Santa was never an illusion to me, but it was a sweet tradition. In high school we could pay for column space in the paper to write Santa Letters. I think I had one of the longest in the paper that year, my crowning wish was that kiss from Bill Wilder, #51 on our high school football team.

I thought this was a good year to revisit the Santa Letter. There are things I wish for my friends and family that I never really have the chance to say, so Santa-in-blogland will bear witness (witless?) to this year's long list. I'll try not to get maudlin.

To el numero uno, my shadow and my conscience, my approver and sweet companion, I wish my little dog good skin, good health, and more QT with me. And I suppose I owe him cookies this year too. He turns 11 next week on New Year's Eve.
To Tanarra, the best friend and best bar fight backup I know, there isn't anything I could wish for you that you won't make happen yourself. I know this - we come from the same stock. But, if I can help bring some peace and tranquility to that world of yours, it would make me very happy - and I think you too.
Jessica will get her pilot's license and her Pilot's license to be ridiculously happy too. And Jay, you make a mess over there and I'll personally fly down there and stomp you. So be good to her, she deserves it. I'm watching.
Shana, the simplest gift would be a red latex corset. In lieu of that, my friend, may this coming year bring you the answers you seek and the clarity to recognize them. Take time, you have lots of it and lots of life. And Justin, I know you're reading this - I see a lot of myself in her at her age, and if I say so myself, she's going to get even better. Just watch.
Eric, thank you for everything this year. You helped me make Seattle home again and for that I cannot thank you enough. But man, we have to find you someone who loves that salt and pepper beard as much as she loves everything you cook for her. Because you are far too good a catch to walk alone.
Leslie, I hope John Galt walks up to your Virginia cabin and sweeps you off your feet. He'll have in tow a dog and the secrets of the universe. That's your clue. In the meantime, get the hell out of New York.
Bill in the Carolinas - you and I have gotten the best gift of all, space. Everything is clear. If you're half as happy as I am, I couldn't wish any better for you. Thank you for always being there for me. I hope to always be there for you too.
Bill and Tuesday, happy first Christmas you married people. May this be the first of a lifetime of bowling and green stuff.
Erin and Eric, the other marrieds - I hope this holiday brings you the complete happiness that I saw in both your eyes the day I witnessed your vows. Take care of each other. Erin, let him spoil you rotten.
Eric and Edith, my Nick and Nora in New York...toasts to you, and good toasts. I walked past the Zig Zag yesterday (Brian, the bartender from Pegu poured mixers from there) and shuddered. Come visit, I'll take you to the mythical pork sandwich in heaven.
Mike, know what you have. Set yourself a plan and get on it because I promise that first step is a doozy, but after that it's not so bad. Your kids will love you always. They may not understand for a while, but they will in time.
Robert, dude, I miss you. You are one of the funniest people I've ever met and I just want the very best for you so you can keep making other people laugh.
Shay, be good. This year has brought a lot of changes for you. Take time to understand them and grow from the things you've learned about yourself and about other people. You are amazing and beautiful. Don't ever give that away.
Winter, I'm so happy to have met you - and I see great things for you. You're just getting started - embrace everything, learn and become the person you're destined to be. And I hope next time I see you, you still don't recognize me. Means I'm changing too!
Lynn, your presence on the team brings balance - I'm always in awe of your composure and your self-effacing manner. Thank you for listening and always being true to who you are.
Cherish, the last years have been so hard, but you have come though with grace and style. There are few people I wish I could be more like, and I am so happy to have your friendship. Grendel loves you too.
Lowell, you are not forgotten. Your strength comes from a place I don't know - you too have walked the path of fire and seem to have come away singed but stronger for it. Like a good piece of iron.
Johnson, keep working on yourself. You have far to go. And tell your mother you love her, she deserves it.
Pedro, now that you're out of school it's time to start your education. Protect your heart, but open it to those who love you. And listen to yourself. You haven't gotten here without reason, so trust yourself.
Jeff, like T, I've never imagined you not getting what you set yourself out to get. Think big, you can get it.
Frank and Keith - stop going to SAP meetings. If the system utterly shuts down, then someone will have to step up and find a way to help the broken system. As long as you keep it on life support, it will never be allowed to fail or survive on its own.
Joe, Garden City. Time with your princess and her mom. Teach her to swing a bat properly. She'll be such a looker when she gets older. She'll have to use those bat swinging skills to keep guys away, and only bring home the ones to Papa that know how to handle her and the bat.

Everyone else, you know who you are. May this holiday season bring you the comfort you all so richly deserve. If it doesn't come visit me here. I'll show you the grass is in fact greener. :-)

And Mark, I am so proud of you my brother. I could get you stuff (I know you want an XBOX 360, but come on), but why should I when you seem to have everything that makes you happy? I just wish I could spend some time with you in your town, enjoying food like we used to eat when I was there, listening to music and driving around. Mom said you bought dinner for the whole family last night - wow. Bet they never expected that.

And last, but certainly not least, Todd.
I don't even know where to start. You have brought something into my life that was entirely unexpected, and I am speechless for it. There's so much I want to give you, I would cheese out everyone reading this if I started listing things out. So you'll have to settle for me, take who I am and what I bring into your heart and decide if this works for you. This is just the beginning, but I hope the beginning of something remarkable and true.

Remember in your hearts all of those who lost this year, lost so much.

Everyone, Merry Christmas. I love you all.

Dinah Washington's On, the Chocolate's Hot

Well folks, they don't really tell you what to expect during your first winter snowstorm. You expect (and hear) the usual:

'Do you have a warm coat?'
'Did you bring gloves?'
'Are your boots waterproof?'

Yes, yes, and sort of. But what they should have said to the new New Yorker, or at least the one adrift in snow flurries and sparkling holiday decorations, was that the first snowfall really is the stuff of memory, and it's never like this again. This is especially true for someone who hasn't grown up around the stuff, and I daresay there are few places which wear snow - the pristine first fall - so well. Parks rendered bare of leaves are transformed and adults become children and run in the snow. The Empire State Building, looking like a gigantic tree ornament, glows proudly red and green, beckoning those in the distant snow-packed neighborhoods to come play, or at the very least, come shop.

And while I can't wait to see Rockefeller Center all dressed up, it's not where I want to be tonight, this first night of snow. It's kind of overpowering, the urge to wear fuzzy slippers, make hot chocolate, and listen to bluesy standards while sitting in the dark, or as fate would have it, as dark as the laptop light allows.

On a lighter (and less ridiculous) note, I had my first 'angry New Yorker' experience. Or was the victim of one, anyway. Crossing the street I nearly ran into a man - I think he ran into me on purpose - and I proceeded to get verbally assaulted in a most unexpected and unpleasant way. Thoughts raced through my mind as I ignored him and kept walking, his breath hot on my cheek as he walked alongside me and continued to shout in my ear. I wondered if he was going to hit me, stab me, or push me into the street. Was he a pickpocket? Was this karma for walking past a volunteer for homeless children and smiling only? A little shaken, I kept walking until traffic wouldn't let me go any further. Instead of more shouting, people who had witnessed it came up to me to see if I was okay and to bitch about the crazy. I figure this is par for the course, and luckily came home with little more than a headache. Which is less than I will have when all of this white stuff turns sloshy yellowish gray, and I have to go to a temp job across town!

In case I don't see all of you this holiday, I wish you the very best.